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Book Review: 5 Love Languages

  • Author Gary Chapman
  • ISBN 080241270X
  • Read 2016-01-13
  • Rating 5/5

I first heard of this book in a discussion on relationships amongst friends from RC. The discussion was quite interesting and the book received more than a couple of strong recommendations. So, I decided to pick it up.

Very simply, the book is codified common sense explaining what Love is. Gary Chapman, the author, started with the question "What makes you feel loved" and found that the answers could be grouped into the following 5 categories:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch,

which he calls the languages of love. He also proposes that people have a primary language of love, and a failure to speak to a person in their primary language would make them feel unloved.

The book is filled with anecdotes to explain what each of these languages means and how to speak them, along with practical advice and exercises to learn to speak each of these languages. Though the book has been written with couples in mind, the fundamental ideas in this book can be applied to any relationships. I feel like it has been helping me connect a few dots, ever since I've started reading it.

It has been totally worth my time to read this book. A highly recommended read!

Below are some of my notes. Feel free to suggest improvements (for readability and otherwise) on the notes.

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Gustaakh Dil

I really liked this song, गुस्ताख दिल (Gustaakh dil) from the movie English Vinglish. Lyrics by Swanand Kirkire are deep and meaningful as usual!

I was looking for the lyrics on the web, and none of the sites seemed to have got it totally right. Shantanu and I listened to it a bunch of times and think we have got it all right, here.

गुस्ताख दिल
दिल में मुश्किल
मुश्किल में दिल
(मुश्किल में दिल)

गुस्ताख दिल
थोडा संगदिल
थोडा बुज़दिल

दर्द के दर पे
ठहरा है क्यों?
सज़ाएँ सज़ाएँ
ये खुद को क्यों देता नई?

हँसने की धुन में
रोता है क्यों?
सही क्या गलत क्या
कुछ भी ये समझता नहीं

गुस्ताख दिल
दिल में मुश्किल
मुश्किल में दिल
(मुश्किल में दिल)

है बर्फ सी साँसों में
आँखों में धुंआ धुंआ
ये हर पल क्यों खेले है
ग़म का ख़ुशी का जुआं जुआं

ये उम्मीदों भरा
ये खुद से ही डरा
सुलझे धागों में उलझा है क्यों?
सलाहें सलाहें
ये खुद की भी सुनता नहीं

गुस्ताख दिल
दिल में मुश्किल
मुश्किल में दिल
(मुश्किल में दिल)

क्यों बातों ही बातों में
फिसलती है जुबां जुबां
किसी शेह न ठेहेरती है
बेहेक्ति है निगाह निगाह

ये कैसे कब हुआ,
ये कहदो क्यों हुआ
गिरता नहीं तो संभालता है क्यों?
झुकाए झुकाए मग़रूर झुकता नहीं

गुस्ताख दिल
दिल में मुश्किल
मुश्किल में दिल
(मुश्किल में दिल)

Hand in Glove

the time, together spent,
the memories cherished,
all the love, concern and care
may they stay with us, for life.

as high and far as you like
may you fly, like you own the sky
while I fumble, with my flying guide
I see the world, through your eyes

may you run, with all your might
as if, fighting for life, you are.
struggling to walk, I stumble and fall,
but get up each time, inspired to run.

may you, in all that we shared
find strength to go on, if en-route
our paths diverged; you may have to wait,
but you shall see me, on the other side!


Thanks to Chaitu, I re-read Love Unvoiced a few times and realized, I was trying to say too much. Here's another poem, with one part of what I wanted to say. I will not be writing newer poems, to say the other stuff. Perform your own Fourier analysis.

Love Unvoiced


Hard, I tried, to stay mum,
and keep it all within.
But, not much longer can I stand,
I give in, and here's my song

wherever you are, anywhere you go,
whatever you do, or choose not to,
whatever you think and however you feel,
my love for you, it shall only grow.

Sweet, is the attachment,
but let it not keep you from flying.
the clear open sky, it's all yours
fly! fly! fly!

see all that you want to,
and do all that you'd like to.
to your hearts content, fly!
without a care in the world, fly!

for, if ever, you wish to rest,
now you know, where to return
right here, I shall be,
with love, just a little more.

Mute, I chose to be, but, boy!
does it need to be told. All over me,
it's written; and you, sure, read me!
Love you, for being the more loving one!